Killer Char Kway Teow Recipe

So I have recently taken a huge interest in cooking. Shut up! I know what you’re thinking. Cooking is for pussies. Well, fuck you. We all have pussies like it or not, so embrace your inner vag or GTFO. Anyways, here is the recipe for the best Kway Teow in the universe. That’s fried flat rice noodles for the rest of you out there. You should try it because it’s the best. Read more

Can I Have My Friggin’ Ketchup Please?

What is it with Malaysians and chili sauce? So I was one of the select elite group of Malaysians who prefer ketchup (that’s tomato sauce for you bitches) rather than chili in my daily cuisine . By cuisine I mean crappy and lethal fast food we all love so much. Every single time I place a drive thru order, the hos at McDonald’s give me like a year’s supply of chili sauce. What is wrong with these people? Do I have to be white so I don’t have to ask? Read more

Free Food For You (FFFU)

Attention cheapskates, freeloaders and hobos! In an effort to make Malaysians fatter and live shorter, McDonald’s Malaysia is giving away one of their crappiest item from their already craptastic breakfast menu, Sausage McMuffin. So be like a true Malaysian and grab this opportunity because we like free stuff even though this shit is lethal to the human body. For those of you who missed out the coupon giveaway, wipe that inverted arch off your ugly face because I have one right here just for you. Read more

Malaysian Food Packaging in New York

I’m not into coconut cookies that much, and I don’t think they are essential Malaysian food staple anyways. However I’m a tad ticked off at how poorly our local food packaging are designed and OMG the grammar. “Malaysia terkenal” maybe the direct translation of “Malaysian famous” but if my BM teacher sees this, she’s going to abruptly faint, wakes up and falls into a coma. And isn’t “Ranggupnya” supposed to be with one “g” instead? Read more

Why Poor Children Are Fat

I was watching one of the popular charity based shows on our local television (not ASSTRO, those assholes copied from TV3 instead and came out with their own) with my dumb friend when she asked me a stupid but interesting question, “Why are those kids so fat? They’re like poor right? I thought that kind of people are skinny because they couldn’t afford food and all…” Read more

Food Philosophy

Some people are very, very picky about what they eat. Like super. For example someone would scream frantically after their first bite, “Is there meat in this? Oh my God, I’m going to die!” or something like, “I’m sensing a hint of parsley in this soup. Are you trying to kill me or something?” Right. Honestly, I respect these kind of people but really, do they have to overreact like that? With all of these craziness going on, I once met an interesting person who said, and I quote:

No matter what you eat, it will turn to crap later anyways.

Of course you are what you eat and you better choose your food wisely, but it got me thinking for a second. From the perspective of “eat to live”, the person was totally right. Read more