Maybank2u Fuckery

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone on this. Maybank2u.com, our local premiere online banking service also known as the Streamyx of banks has been through a redesign recently. What do we think of it? Read more

Way to Screw Up My Rhythm, Bitch

Don’t you just love Muscle Marys? They’re like half boiled eggs, hard on the outside, soft in the inside. Not that I have anything against these beautiful creatures. I was at the gym fitness center the other day, having my routine run when this muscle dude came and used the treadmill beside me. I don’t mind, we all pay the same fees anyways because we couldn’t afford our own private gym. That’s not the point. Suddenly, there was this awful stench. I can’t help but wonder (imagine me in that ponyface Carrie Bradshaw pose), is it coming from yours truly? Of course not, you all know for a fact I smell like roses in spring when I sweat, right? This one is worse than body odor! Okay maybe not but close enough. Read more

Do Not Want

Do not want people who dig and smell their own booger in public. Do not want people who reserve spots in queue for friends. Do not want people who take 10 sugar packets, use 2 and throw the rest. Do not want people who buy Apple products and think they’re cool. Do not want whiny schoolgirls. Do not want people who use “nia” and “ma” in every sentence. Do not want fat people who wear minimal clothing to go out. Do not want pathetic bloggers who plagiarize my shit. Read more

How to Annoy People Effortlessly

Hope everyone had a good break because mine was kinda sucky (don’t ask). Anyhoo, I was at the bank the other day and there was like two million people inside. That’s kinda forgivable since we were just out from a long(ish) public holiday. Amidst all types of people from every imaginable walk of life, all of sudden I smelled something funky. I knew this scent. Very well in fact. Hmm… Let’s see, it’s kinda pungent, very human-like, a bit tangy if you breathe it in with your normal breathing rate. HOLY SHIT it’s BODY ODOUR! Read more

Are You One of These Assholes?

Dearest readers,

It sucks that I can’t individually pick my readers, especially Malaysians. Having said that, what I can do is list down the types of people who are not allowed to comment on this fab blog, for the sake of my sanity (and others, too). If you’re one of these assholes, please keep your fug stubby fingers to yourself and save some energy from typing your idiotic comments. Read more

sHitz.fm Still the Shittiest Radio Station in Malaysia

Before Fly FM and Red104whatever existed, there was this cool new station called sHitz FM which played more current hits than that dreadful old people’s station Radio 4. From 2001 until today, they claimed that they’re still Malaysia’s no. 1 hit station. Well, probably most of their listeners are idiots and knowing that our country is full of them, their claim just might be true. Let me adjust that a bit. Malaysia’s no. 1 SHIT station, pwned by ASSTRO. Ah, much better. Now it all makes sense to me now! Read more

Listening to These Popular Songs Doesn’t Make You Cool Part 1

These are some of the popular Malaysian favorite English songs since pretty much forever. Listening to any of these foul music does not make you cool. In fact, they’ll make you look like an idiot, which I guess is okay if you already are but pretty fucking annoying to other intelligent beings (like me). Read more

Pimp My Cheap Ride

I don’t know about you guys but I have a friggin’ huge problem with cheap cars and state crests on their number plates. What are the crest for actually? Yes I’m so ignorant I don’t know. All I know that all the Agongs, ministers, politicians and their minions used them on their cars and that’s it. Read more

10 Types of Malaysian Cinema Assholes

While big brands such as Nokia and DiGi spend a lot of money on clever and witty cinema PSAs, I don’t think ANY of the message seep into the minds of Malaysian movie goers. Pure entertainment value, yes but motivating, not really. We all laughed and giggle during the ads, but how many of us really practice good cinema etiquette? Read more

Squeaky Shoes Should Never Have Existed

What is more annoying than a 3 year old? A 3 year old with squeaky shoes of course!

I was minding my own business, taking a break from shopping groceries at a food court in this mall (no, I’m not that old, just for a drink, fools) then I heard this disgusting sound. It’s so freaking annoying that I was able to recognize where it came from two second before I heard it. Read more

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