I Can Has A Datuk Title?

Posted on November 1, 2008  in Amusement

So, uber Bollywood star and world-renowned actor, singer, dancer, heart breaker, rubber tapper Shah Rukh Khan received the coveted “Datuk” status from someone in Malacca or something like that. And I thought Datukship is only meant for Malaysians. Heh. Honestly, I never understand what the title does but I guess it’s similar to the British “Duke” or “Lord” or something? I didn’t know what those do either. Anyignorance, here is my list of people that should receive the illusive title. Yeah, instead of bitching around about how ridiculous this is, why don’t we embrace the fact that pretty much everyone who’s anyone is eligible to be a Datuk nowadays, eh?

1. Amber Chia

This bitch is working her fug off every hour of the day! You can’t go anywhere in Malaysia without seeing her skinny ass plastered all over. Of all people she should get a Datuk title!

2. Mawi

This one is self explanatory. Wait, he’s not a Datuk yet? If not, I’m sure they’re working on giving Mawi the highest order of the state or something.

3. Salman Khan, Kajol and the rest of the Bollywood hos

Also self explanatory. I’m sure each of them has filmed a “mega blockbuster” movie in Malaysia, so that definitely counts as promoting Malaysia to the world and stuff.

4. Anita Sarawak

Anita is an ex Vegas showgirl that no single Malaysian can relate to. That’s okay because everyone loves her naturally voluptuous lips, perfectly firm skin, clorox hair and gorgeous blue eyes regardless. I don’t know why but they just do.

Give these people what they deserve already!

Crappy Comments

8 Responses to “I Can Has A Datuk Title?”

  1. Giemns on November 1st, 2008 10:52 pm

    I think malaysian datukship something like a ‘door gift” to those were invited to the party!!!

  2. Firah on November 4th, 2008 4:54 pm

    And here I thought they’d be giving the Datuk-ship to every single mo-fo who was born, raised in, whose father/mother/grandfather/grandmother/uncle/second cousin twice removed was from Malaysia, or has even mentioned the word, “Malaysia” in one of their lines in some B-rated movie in the West..

    *snort*

    You did a great job in narrowing down the whole list to the 5 people who..yeah…”deserve” the title..*thumbs up*

  3. Elle on November 4th, 2008 11:41 pm

    hmmm..not really suprise cuz it seems that nowadays, the govt were giving out the datuk titles to every Abu, Ah Chong and Ravi and its common as a father getting the datuk title when he receives a grand son/daughter. Heck..you can buy the title if you have some extra dosh in hand. No need for any significant contribution the country, or no need to know how to spell or pronounce Malaysia correctly!

  4. zaf on January 10th, 2009 2:58 pm

    what is his(shah rukh) contribution?i mean…seriously, givin him that title doesn’t make any sense at all!!FUCK bollywood!they never respect malaysian film industry trust me

  5. BusukButYummy on January 21st, 2009 12:15 am

    Other candidates:

    Uncle Lim
    Madam Kwan
    Syed Nasi Kandar
    Nasi Lemak Cikgu
    Cumi dan Ciki
    Ravi Potong Rumput
    Karripaiah Putu Mayam
    Sepet DVD Seller
    Cik Timah Tukang Jahit
    Hero Mat Rempit
    Ah Long Bukit Beruntung
    Salvaratnam Geng 007
    Mr. Carl Expat
    Bangsar Boy Heavy Drinker

    Hell…why dont we all become datuks? We are all called boss anyway? Just sit at the mamak and wait 3 minutes…”Boss, minum apa?”

  6. Slevin on March 15th, 2009 5:21 pm

    ur forgetting che’nelle.. shes that girl that claims she’s sabahan… she sang i fell in love with the dj… she deserves a Datuk title too!!(saying it sarcastically).. cuz u knw, shes like a worldclass slut, listen to the lyrics of that song.. i fell in love with the dj… blablabla.. banging till we hear sumbody saying wooohoehoehoe!!! JUST IMAGINE.. DATUK CHE’NELLE!! HAHAHAHHAHSS

  7. baibu on June 16th, 2009 11:15 am

    ..hi

  8. - on August 16th, 2009 9:37 pm

    love ur blog dude(tte)
    x

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