Way to Screw Up My Rhythm, Bitch

Posted on July 5, 2008  in Annoyance

Don’t you just love Muscle Marys? They’re like half boiled eggs, hard on the outside, soft in the inside. Not that I have anything against these beautiful creatures. I was at the gym fitness center the other day, having my routine run when this muscle dude came and used the treadmill beside me. I don’t mind, we all pay the same fees anyways because we couldn’t afford our own private gym. That’s not the point. Suddenly, there was this awful stench. I can’t help but wonder (imagine me in that ponyface Carrie Bradshaw pose), is it coming from yours truly? Of course not, you all know for a fact I smell like roses in spring when I sweat, right? This one is worse than body odor! Okay maybe not but close enough.

Goodness, do you have to wear 13 liters of perfume when you exercise? I don’t know, maybe it’s like the ethical code of MMAM (Muscle Marys Association of Malaysia) or something, killing two birds with one stone. By birds I mean other patrons. Even females don’t wear that much perfume to cover their girly aromas. I tried my best to concentrate by thinking happy thoughts like the time when I won a Pulitzer Prize for Craplicious.com in my dreams but the smell was too overwhelming I had to stop. Thanks for fucking up my morning run, bitch. Didn’t you hear about this thing called odorless deodorant?

Crappy Comments

6 Responses to “Way to Screw Up My Rhythm, Bitch”

  1. B.H. on July 8th, 2008 4:27 pm

    Hi,

    I stumbled upon your blog when I was looking for photos of IKEA in Malaysia and was pleasantly surprised. I have recently started a blog which is a satirical list of stuff Malaysian people like and I see we share some common ground.

    Great material. See you around!

    B.H.

  2. Craplicious on July 8th, 2008 7:08 pm

    Hey B.H, love your blog. Great writing. And I don’t say that often so it’s like a big deal. Keep it up!

  3. B.H. on July 8th, 2008 7:23 pm

    Hi,

    Thanks very much, your praise is both humbling and appreciated. I went through your previous posts and I must say you covered some areas I intended for future posts; namely Hitz FM and IKEA. Good to see my zeitgeist is on par with yours. Great minds think alike?

    B.H.

  4. Craplicious on July 8th, 2008 7:30 pm

    By all means please cover them, you did it beautifully. I’m gonna go now before I propose to you.

  5. B.H. on July 8th, 2008 10:15 pm

    Kind Sir,

    You are most flattering but I’m afraid I don’t believe in the concept of marriage. My MSN address is nigel_lkb@hotmail.com

    I hope we can correspond and collaborate in future. Good day.

    B.H.

  6. B.H. on August 4th, 2008 12:44 am

    When are you going to update? I think you need to review this one post a month policy of yours. I want to hear more diss-ertations.

    B.H.

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