Way to Screw Up My Rhythm, Bitch

Don’t you just love Muscle Marys? They’re like half boiled eggs, hard on the outside, soft in the inside. Not that I have anything against these beautiful creatures. I was at the gym fitness center the other day, having my routine run when this muscle dude came and used the treadmill beside me. I don’t mind, we all pay the same fees anyways because we couldn’t afford our own private gym. That’s not the point. Suddenly, there was this awful stench. I can’t help but wonder (imagine me in that ponyface Carrie Bradshaw pose), is it coming from yours truly? Of course not, you all know for a fact I smell like roses in spring when I sweat, right? This one is worse than body odor! Okay maybe not but close enough. Read more