Free Food For You (FFFU)

Attention cheapskates, freeloaders and hobos! In an effort to make Malaysians fatter and live shorter, McDonald’s Malaysia is giving away one of their crappiest item from their already craptastic breakfast menu, Sausage McMuffin. So be like a true Malaysian and grab this opportunity because we like free stuff even though this shit is lethal to the human body. For those of you who missed out the coupon giveaway, wipe that inverted arch off your ugly face because I have one right here just for you. Read more

How to Become a Caucasian in 5 Easy Steps

Born genetically an Asian? Don’t be discouraged. There’s still hope of becoming America’s Next Top Model that gorgeous Hollywood stars you’ve seen so often on movies and television. There are actually many advantages of being a white person in Malaysia, you’ll get special attention when shopping and dining in restaurants, get recognized by local magazines as ‘hot’ if you’re a male, among others. Just follow these 5 simple steps and you’re on your way of becoming the next Anchelina Choli or Blad Pit! Read more