How to Annoy People Effortlessly

Posted on February 12, 2008  in Annoyance, Boys & Girls

Hope everyone had a good break because mine was kinda sucky (don’t ask). Anyhoo, I was at the bank the other day and there was like two million people inside. That’s kinda forgivable since we were just out from a long(ish) public holiday. Amidst all types of people from every imaginable walk of life, all of sudden I smelled something funky. I knew this scent. Very well in fact. Hmm… Let’s see, it’s kinda pungent, very human-like, a bit tangy if you breathe it in with your normal breathing rate. HOLY SHIT it’s BODY ODOUR!

There’s like different levels of body odour, and this one seems to be off the charts. Honestly, I can still tolerate if the smell is mild, as annoying as it can be but I never smell something this bad in my life since that 3 hours old Pizza Hut’s pan pizza (I don’t know what sort of crappy ingredients they put in to make the pizza smell that way, you should try it sometimes). I’m not going to even scout for the source of the funk, so my best bet was to move from the affective radius. 10 steps, still dizzy. Yeah, it was that strong. Since there was like 143 people in queue before me, I have no choice but to step out of the bank and leave. Mister BO: 1, me: 0. :(

I’m not going to start a gender war here but I think more than half of the people with strong body odour are men, while the female scent is like a bit more mild but so much funkier if you breathe it in for more than 1 minute. Either way, unless you have no sense of smell at all, they’ll make you feel nauseated and want to throw up after 3 minutes of obviously unfair battle.

Malaysian celebrity’s armpits

So ladies and gentlemen, if your friends / spouses / lovers have this problem, please tell them straight to their face. I know it’s kinda taboo but it’s for the sake of humanity. If you didn’t, then trust me NOONE freakin’ will. Instead of giving them expensive chocolates, useless flowers or teddy bears, do them a huge favor by giving the gift of life, the fucking DEODORANT.

Make sure it’s antiperspirant though, I don’t know if that’s an actual medical term or just some marketing bullshit but it’s nice to know you’re not indirectly annoying people. I’m sounding a bit mumsy here but I don’t care because I like to do my physical bank transaction at peace (no, not every friggin’ thing can be done online unfortunately).

Stop the funk, guys!

Crappy Comments

7 Responses to “How to Annoy People Effortlessly”

  1. Nicholas Chhan on February 12th, 2008 8:25 pm

    I wonder whose pic is that you defaced :D I remember going to a date, and this girl has really horrible BO. It actually overpowered her perfume. Such a turnoff.

  2. Venetia on February 13th, 2008 11:16 am

    There is a type of laser available in all healthcare services that removes the excessive sweat glands. Very popular among many who have sweaty palms.

  3. Alucard on March 24th, 2008 8:46 pm

    i guess the combination of BO, musty clothes n perfume to cover up both smell are the worse kind. it just went straight into ur brains, killing ur cells one by one and horrifying the others making them killing themselves for that matter.

  4. ReubZ on April 20th, 2008 12:42 am

    i remember i had a roomie with BO from the pits of hell in my first year of university. i dreaded mondays, because it was when he had classes from early morning til late night. so you could imagine when he swings open the door, you’d be dizzy five seconds later if you were there. openning the window wasn’t good enough to help the dizziness. my last resort, spray my expensive perfume around the room. i didnt have an air freshener that time, but it didn’t help also when we finally bought it later. he would still have that pungent smell right after a shower, so u can imagine how crazy it was… i now remember him as the PIT LORD. he really is the king, man. i can testify of his kingship.

  5. Suzy on June 19th, 2008 5:21 pm

    I used to date an Armenian guy, nicest guy in the world, but he had a smelly penis. I mean it reeked. He was uncircumcised, but I guess he produced a lot of cheese or something. I don’t know, but I stopped dating him because of the smell.

  6. Tan on July 3rd, 2008 2:44 am

    Hey, r u a girl, Craplicious? R u hot? Got a pic?

  7. Rufus Dawson on November 13th, 2008 4:22 am

    bjntmjy9jfm7xdco

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