Topman is Actually a Btmman

Posted on December 13, 2007  in Annoyance

Do you shop at Topman? I don’t shop for clothes that often because personally I think it’s a waste of money and you better spend your hard earn moolah at something more useful like fancy electronics and shaving cream. Clothes get outdated the day you bought it so why bother dropping thousands on latest trends.

Unfortunately, I shop at Topman too. I am neither attracted to the ‘cool’ factor nor the ‘super skinny pants bohemian English dandy’ look, whatever it is they’re trying to bullshit us each season, but mainly for the simplicity of the clothes (not the recent collection) and reasonable-ish price range.

But aren’t there a lot more brands in Malaysia with cheaper prices and funkier style? No, there’s too many “street fashion” shops in Malaysia which sells crappy Chinese made clothes in wacky unwearable fabrics in which any way you pair them, you will still look exactly like their salesmen (or salesgirls), sans the crazy roadkill hairdo. They say style is how you express yourself but I don’t really think cheap and tacky even qualify as one.

If you do shop at Topman, have you noticed most of their generic customers consists of wannabe “I’m cool because I wear skinny jeans and patterned shirts” young-ish bitchy queens? No, they’re not that kind of queen, darling. It’s the one with balls, likes to judge and bitch about things on minute-by-minute basis and worships Caucasian men. By looking at most of them, I assumed they’re mostly at the receiving end. It’s funny and how ironic that they shop at Topman while most of them are bottoms. Maybe opposites do attract!

And if you’re lucky enough, you might also bump into one of those types who have cataracts or other terrible eye related diseases, i.e wears big sunglasses indoors because apparently looking like a blind person is cool. No dimwits, you’re not Nicole Ritchie so stop acting like you have a vagina and weighs 20 kilograms. This is not Hollywood and you’re never going to be the skinny white dude on the storefront poster you intended to copy.

Well, the last time I shopped at Topman was a few months ago but if you do get the chance next time, I’ll guarantee that it’s definitely a fun experience to browse your clothes and have real life (and quite bitchy) models browsing with you at the same time. If you’re not up to their standards however, they will give you that ‘OMG you’re not cool like me to even shop here! Eww!’ look. Bitches, please. Topman in Malaysia will continue to make handsome profit as long as trashy Malaysian powerbottoms exist, which is pretty much forever.

Finally, I’d like to leave a quote from my farty aunt:

If you’re born looking like shit, no matter what you wear, you will still look like shit, maybe slightly better. But still a shit nonetheless.

Let’s go to Topman today!

Update: Apparently Topman Malaysia is so shitty that people who searched for Topman Malaysia landed on this page because apparently Topman doesn’t have it’s own Malaysian website.

Crappy Comments

15 Responses to “Topman is Actually a Btmman”

  1. Zikri on December 13th, 2007 9:23 pm

    I prefer buying t-shirts that look artsy like at one shop 2nd floor of pasar seni or shops that sell local made original t-shirt designs that are simple but cool. Never been to Topman XD

  2. Chong on December 14th, 2007 10:46 am

    I couldn’t fit into Topman’s clothes because they are made for skinny/thin ppl (yeah, I’m fat). Nevertheless, what you said is true because the way they look at you (or me) is exactly how you mentioned in your post.

  3. Craplicious on December 14th, 2007 12:56 pm

    @Zikri I didn’t have the talent to scout for indie cool t-shirts but thanks a lot for the pointers. Will def visit them later!

    @Chong Thanks for pointing that out. Def missing that in my post. Topman is for skinny bitches!

  4. Danny Foo on December 15th, 2007 9:47 am

    I’d like to shop at Topman more albeit browsing their clothes often. However, their steep prices normally prevents me from buying any straight away because:
    1. They’re not made in UK. (not all)
    2. I’ve a mediocre budget.

    On the other hand, I purchase from G2000 often for work clothes. But I’m aiming to purchase a couple of formal/casual working wear from Topman soon. Their formal is a mix of work and play. :)

  5. Craplicious on December 17th, 2007 12:29 am

    Just make sure you watch out for those queens especially if you’re shopping in KLCC, which is the headquarters of bitchy fags.

  6. MIRULZ on January 16th, 2008 12:59 am

    SY NK MASUK AHLI TOPMAN

  7. Maria on January 25th, 2008 3:31 am

    Topman in the UK is a highstreet store - it is not considered branded or even high-end. Best description would be “middle” - the one they go to when they want something nice but on a budget. It’s not even considered “cool” - just a normal departmental store you go to every Saturday to take a look.

  8. wea on April 21st, 2008 10:13 pm

    nice articel dude hahahahahahaha

  9. fizrie on May 10th, 2008 3:55 pm

    after getting fat from hibernating at home, i cant seem to fit theirs anymore…
    but i see someugly ppl in it who are just fashoin victims…my god, their friends should have slapped on their faces !

  10. jacko on July 17th, 2008 4:45 pm

    dude, stop bitching about topman. they’re doing business and everyone is welcome at topman. they have their own marketing strategy, sorry lah for those OB’s ppl who cant shop there. get out from your room and start working out! btw stop bitching those people who shops at topman, it’s their money and different ppl have their own preferences. so what if they want to buy at topman or any other shops. u susah meh? so what if those ppl wants to wear fashionable items. u susah meh? fyi, fashions are subjective. u guys who condemned others because of the way they dressed are shitheads. shame on you closed minded ppl.

  11. happyboy on July 19th, 2008 2:00 pm

    yup, exactly there’s a lot of bottoms shop there..at the same time hoping to bring home their TOPman..u guys better check out the philosophy men boutique..dat one is really for gays..they even put the men mannequin to show their gayness..so queen!

  12. zul on July 19th, 2008 6:43 pm

    oh my god!
    i cant live without topman…
    but it is to hard to believe that
    I kindly agreed with da way u r talking
    about da ppl
    who buy topman because im from the one.
    and sometimes i look down on ppl
    who didn’t wear topman n praise myself in my
    heart…TOPMAN COOL!!

  13. S on August 28th, 2008 6:44 pm

    Wow! I’ve been to Topman a couple of times..
    I love their clothes but I’m not a “Queen”..
    Yes, i agree that the clothes are pricy for Malaysians but they have a sense of simplicity that is hard to find..and they fit me perfectly…
    But, funny thing is I sorta agree with the article..
    For most parts at least… They’re not Crap entirely…

  14. Elle on August 28th, 2008 10:42 pm

    Haha..its true wat maria said about Topman in UK..its not that much of a hype..sumtin like our jusco in msia..same with Marks n Spencer, or even Zara..i dun care where ppl wanna shop, but dun go tell other ppl where u shop just to show off dat u bought stuffs at a supposedly ‘high-end’ shops..puhllezzzeeee…if only they know the reality dat here in london, u can get Topman’s stuffs for a merely £5 (pls take face value)..not on sale ok?

  15. Etienne on October 5th, 2008 4:00 am

    I’m from Switzerland but half malaysian.. And hum, topman is some cheap shit, compared to prices here. VERY cheap. And what did you expect? Young Malaysians to wear traditional clothing everywhere? Well, even if you do shop at other stores, you’ll still end up looking like a “Wannabe Caucasian” as you say.. And fuck you, if people like wearing sunglasses in shopping malls so be it. Stop looking at other people and judge them for what they look like! Dayuuum.

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