Way to Screw Up My Rhythm, Bitch

Posted on July 5, 2008  in Annoyance | 5 Comments

Don’t you just love Muscle Marys? They’re like half boiled eggs, hard on the outside, soft in the inside. Not that I have anything against these beautiful creatures. I was at the gym fitness center the other day, having my routine run when this muscle dude came and used the treadmill beside me. I don’t mind, we all pay the same fees anyways because we couldn’t afford our own private gym. That’s not the point. Suddenly, there was this awful stench. I can’t help but wonder (imagine me in that ponyface Carrie Bradshaw pose), is it coming from yours truly? Of course not, you all know for a fact I smell like roses in spring when I sweat, right? This one is worse than body odor! Okay maybe not but close enough. Read more

Next Step for IKEA Malaysia

Posted on June 24, 2008  in Capitalism, Design | Leave a Comment

Yay me for keeping up with this one post per month trend. Anyways, this particular post for the hot ass month of June is not so much of annoyance, more like a suggestion. Yes, don’t expect my bitterness swing into action in this one. As we all know, Malaysians worship Ikea, and would buy anything thrown in their way, no matter how shitty or useless. If I put an Ikea label on my cat’s poop and display it on one of their shelves, I guarantee you it’s the first damn thing people would put in their carts. Read more

Do Not Want

Posted on May 3, 2008  in Annoyance | 4 Comments

Do not want people who dig and smell their own booger in public. Do not want people who reserve spots in queue for friends. Do not want people who take 10 sugar packets, use 2 and throw the rest. Do not want people who buy Apple products and think they’re cool. Do not want whiny schoolgirls. Do not want people who use “nia” and “ma” in every sentence. Do not want fat people who wear minimal clothing to go out. Do not want pathetic bloggers who plagiarize my shit. Read more

Free Food For You (FFFU)

Posted on April 24, 2008  in Capitalism, Foodness, Free Stuff | 4 Comments

Attention cheapskates, freeloaders and hobos! In an effort to make Malaysians fatter and live shorter, McDonald’s Malaysia is giving away one of their crappiest item from their already craptastic breakfast menu, Sausage McMuffin. So be like a true Malaysian and grab this opportunity because we like free stuff even though this shit is lethal to the human body. For those of you who missed out the coupon giveaway, wipe that inverted arch off your ugly face because I have one right here just for you. Read more

How to Become a Caucasian in 5 Easy Steps

Posted on April 20, 2008  in Bodylicious, Boys & Girls | 3 Comments

Born genetically an Asian? Don’t be discouraged. There’s still hope of becoming America’s Next Top Model that gorgeous Hollywood stars you’ve seen so often on movies and television. There are actually many advantages of being a white person in Malaysia, you’ll get special attention when shopping and dining in restaurants, get recognized by local magazines as ‘hot’ if you’re a male, among others. Just follow these 5 simple steps and you’re on your way of becoming the next Anchelina Choli or Blad Pit! Read more

I’m Still Here, Apparently

Posted on March 6, 2008  in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

So it’s been like two million years since I posted anything. Missed me? OMG me too! I know right? And while I have nothing to write about for the time being, may I interest you with this sexy naked (but tastefully done) picture of Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe? I’m sure you pervs will love it. Read more

The Best Malaysian TV Show Ever

Posted on February 18, 2008  in Amusement | 11 Comments

I fucking hate how brainless and unoriginal today’s local television programs have become. On this website I often talked about how they sucked but there was one Malaysian made television show that was genius and undoubtedly original. I am writing this with love so you can expect less or no profanity ahead, motherfuckers. Oops. Read more

Malaysian Food Packaging in New York

Posted on February 17, 2008  in Design, Foodness | Leave a Comment

I’m not into coconut cookies that much, and I don’t think they are essential Malaysian food staple anyways. However I’m a tad ticked off at how poorly our local food packaging are designed and OMG the grammar. “Malaysia terkenal” maybe the direct translation of “Malaysian famous” but if my BM teacher sees this, she’s going to abruptly faint, wakes up and falls into a coma. And isn’t “Ranggupnya” supposed to be with one “g” instead? Read more

Astro Blows & There’s Nothing We Can Do About It

Posted on February 14, 2008  in Amusement, Capitalism | 8 Comments

It’s kinda pathetic really, while the rest of the world enjoys premium quality high definition broadcasting, we are stuck with blurry analogue crap in Astro. Of course some of you might say, o wise Mister Crap, if you fucking hate Astro so much why you even bother to subscribe? Read more

Separated at Birth

Posted on February 13, 2008  in Design | 2 Comments

The perfectionist in me wanted to keep the homepage picture free because I friggin’ love Times New Roman so much therefore kindly see the sexy picture after the jump. Read more

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